


i like alison (and i miss her when she's not here)

by noodlerdoodler



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Autistic Kitty (Ghosts TV 2019), Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Headcanon, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Kitty (Ghosts TV 2019), Not Beta Read, One Big Happy Family, Period Typical Attitudes, Post-Season/Series 02, Sexuality Crisis, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28560417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlerdoodler/pseuds/noodlerdoodler
Summary: “Kitty,” Pat lowered his voice, “Do you… Well, do you fancy Alison?”Despite his attempts to keep the conversation private, Julian’s ears pricked up immediately. He was like a dog with a bone when it came to gossip.He turned, eyes wide, and pointed smugly at her, “You’ve got a crush on Alison!”
Relationships: Alison & Kitty (Ghosts TV 2019), Alison/Kitty (Ghosts TV 2019), Clare/Sam (Ghosts TV 2019)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 60





	i like alison (and i miss her when she's not here)

**Author's Note:**

> my personal headcanons about kitty !! 
> 
> might go slightly off canon because i can't remember exactly what happened in the wedding episode and what exactly kitty said. but i see her as a lesbian (but not knowing what that is) and just thinking that she wants to be really close friends with other women.

When Button House hosted its first wedding, Kitty was surprised, then thrilled to find out that their were two brides. How exciting that two close friends could be together forever! It reminded her of her of a girl she had once known, Harriet, who was a spinster and lived with her good friend. Although they were peculiar, often wearing men’s clothes like Alison did, Kitty had liked them a great deal. She had always longed for a friend like that- one who could be closer than a sister, closer even than someone she might court, with whom she could share everything.

The idea of marrying a close friend, like Alison, seemed dreadfully romantic and Kitty wished she had known of such options when she was alive. She wondered what her parents would’ve thought if she had vowed to become a spinster and it made her giggle, thinking of what the stern look her mother would’ve given her. As she drifted through the library, inspecting both Robin’s chess game and Julian’s program with interest, Kitty couldn’t help smiling to herself.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Pat asked cheerily. 

He was also studying Julian’s choice of television over his shoulder, though he didn’t seem very interested, perched on the arm of the sofa. It wasn’t unlikely that he might be waiting for his turn to use the television, rather than spending time with Julian. As usual, Pat seemed much more eager to engage in conversation than any other activity. He was a pleasantly chatty man, whom Kitty felt content talking to, so she didn’t hesitate to share what was on her mind.

Kitty beamed at him, “I was just thinking about how awfully romantic the wedding was. It’s been such a long time since there was a wedding at Button House.”

“I do love weddings,” Pat admitted, “Not to mention a wedding spread and a bit of a disco at the reception. We had a buffet at our wedding, you know-”

“I’d love to marry my closest friend. Oh! But Alison’s already married.”

It was disappointing to think about. Even though it was only a silly daydream, Kitty felt a strange kind of sadness when it was shattered like that. She couldn’t possibly imagine getting married to anyone else- none of the suitors that she’d considered in life had made her smile like Alison did. _Maybe_ , Kitty thought, _it would be better if everyone just married their best friends. After all, it wouldn’t be as strange and uncomfortable as being with a man._

A look flickered across Pat’s face, which she quickly identified as confusion. Though, she could never be too sure. If only people still used fans to communicate their true feelings, everyone would be so much easier to understand. Then, Pat glanced around, (his eyes lingering on Julian), to see what everyone else was up to. He seemed satisfied they were busy.

“Kitty,” Pat lowered his voice, “Do you… Well, do you fancy Alison?”

Despite his attempts to keep the conversation private, Julian’s ears pricked up immediately. He was like a dog with a bone when it came to gossip. 

He turned, eyes wide, and pointed smugly at her, “You’ve got a crush on Alison!”

Flustered, Kitty blinked and shook her head. From what she understood, a crush was when a woman was interested in a suitor and intended to make a husband out of him. Or vice versa, like when Thomas swooned and sighed with his love poetry clenched passionately in his fist. Although she was Alison’s best friend, she was pretty sure that it wasn’t a silly ‘crush’. Indeed, women simply didn’t experience those kinds of feelings for other women. 

No, no, it was much simpler than that. She just wanted to be close friends with Alison, lie next to her in bed and giggle during their sleepovers, and spend time with her alone. Without the others interrupting, as they so often did, and without Mike getting in the way. Not that Kitty didn’t like spending time with the others but her time with Alison was… Special. Just for them. 

“We’re best friends, that’s all,” Kitty said quickly, “Like those two women at the wedding.”

She hadn’t been trying to be funny but Julian chuckled at her nonetheless, while Pat looked at her sympathetically. Hesitantly- ignoring Julian’s crude interrupting remarks- Pat explained that those two women had been in love. Just like when a man and a woman were in love but instead of a man and a woman, it was a woman and a woman. Or even a man and a man. It was more scandalous than anything Kitty had read in her romance novels but it only intrigued her further. 

“So, those women, they were in love with each other?” Kitty said, unsure of herself, “They weren’t just friends. They were courting and- and kissing- and… Making babies together?”

This made Pat flush, his ears turning pink, and he stammered out, “Not exactly, uh, making babies per say but certainly, they, uh-“

Julian rolled his eyes, “Lesbians! They were lesbians! Like you and Alison!”

It was a word that Kitty hadn’t heard before but she liked the sound of it. The way that the syllables rolled together to form such a pretty word. _Based on their explanations_ , Kitty supposed, _lesbians must be women that court other women. Go to_ bed _with other women._ Just the idea made her feel confused, excited, and giddy all at the same time. She took a moment to collect herself, sitting down on the sofa beside Julian. He was studying her with the most peculiar expression, as if he’d never seen her before. 

When Kitty had learned about love, through whispered rumours that her sister shared with her, there had been no mention of women and women courting. She’d always imagined, in life, that she would simply find the most bearable man she could and end up marrying him. It was an idle goal- _wasn’t marriage just something you did when you ran out of fun things to do?_ \- nothing like her fierce passion to make friends with other girls and find a best friend. 

“You mean to say, that rather than a man, I could court a woman?” Kitty directed her question at Pat because she knew he would answer her honestly.

He shrugged, “Well, you’re dead. So, you can’t really court anyone! But if you were alive, I suppose so, yeah. That would be alright."

For a moment, Kitty considered this. She imagined going for walks on the grounds in spring but, rather than a suitor on her arm, with Alison at her side. Would they need a chaperone? No, it was silly even to imagine it. Alison was married! But the idea of it did make Kitty’s face light up. 

Decisively, she declared, “I’ve decided that I will be a- what did you say Julian?”

“Lesbian! A muff diver!” He was enjoying himself, “A carpet muncher!”“I will be a lesbian,” Kitty loved the way the word felt in her mouth, “Gosh, how exciting! I can’t wait to tell everyone. Thanks Pat!”

She jumped up from her seat, keen to find Alison straightaway so that she could talk to her about it. Even though Kitty intended to tell everyone, she wanted her best friend- her crush?- to be the first one she spoke to about it and tried to remember where she saw her last. Perhaps in the kitchen? As she hurried from the room, she heard Julian grumble to himself:

“Politicians get no thanks. None, I tell you. Hmph!”


End file.
